A prominent astrophysicist has confirmed that NIBIRU COULD COLLIDE WITH EARTH AS EARLY AS March 1st, 2024. Dr. Frank Mallikovski, formerly with NASA, told Weekly World News that Planet Nibiru (also known as Planet X) is heading toward Earth at an accelerated speed. “I have been studying Nibiru for the last 25 years. There’s a … READ MORE
“AFTER ABOUT SIXTEEN FLUSHES AND THE TOILET SPITTING UP VIKINGS, I STARTED TO GET SUSPICIOUS,” SAYS OWNER. The hand is extended, trembling above the lever. Slowly it grips the wooden extension. A voice asks, “Are you ready?” This WEEKLY WORLD NEWS reporter nods. WWN knows that this lever, when pushed, will create a time/space vortex … READ MORE
…AND WILL COME TO A HALT IN 3 YEARS, WARN SCIENTISTS ANCHORAGE, ALASKA — Worried scientists say they have detected a significant slowing of our planet’s rotation — and predict the Earth will stop spinning altogether in as little as three years! The slowdown will lead to steadily longer days and nights and could cause … READ MORE
Archaeologists make a startling discovery! ROME, ITALY — Here’s a newsflash to all those underachievers who fall back on the old claim that ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day.’ “Turns out it was,” says Phoenix Institute archaeologist professor Rupert Valt. City workers found the proof in an old earthen jar. They were digging a sewer … READ MORE
NEW FINDINGS WILL SHOCK YOU! How fast do you think? Is it true that the smarter a person is, the harder he is to understand? Here are some of the answers science has discovered to these and other questions about intelligence. Q. How fast do you think? A. Most people think at the rate of … READ MORE
WASHINGTON — Raging wildfires erupted on the moon last week in a phenomenon that researchers say can’t possibly explain how fires can burn and spread without oxygen in the icy vastness of space. Some bible scholars and clergymen are saying that the situation is important proof that the end of the world is near. Other … READ MORE
SENDS SHOCKWAVES THROUGH WALL STREET! Weekly World News reports shocking findings from Ph.D. Ape. Among his many talents, he is also a noted economic theorist and has been studying the physics of entrepreneurial egos for decades. Ph.D. Ape’s research has confirmed that egos do indeed have mass and through a range of external metrics, such … READ MORE
GIANT COMET HITS THE GIANT PLANET! HOUSTON — Stunned scientists say they now have absolute proof that life exists on Jupiter. They’re receiving distress signals radioed from the devastated planet! Off the record, NASA higher-ups are theorizing that the signals were prompted by the recent battering of Jupiter by comet fragments. “Theses signals can only … READ MORE
“WE ARE SO SCREWED,” SAYS THE MAYOR The town of Slackjaw, South Dakota has seen its share of hard times. It’s been pummeled by summer thunderstorms, has skirted swarms of tornadoes and has faced winter blizzards. But when a sinkhole opened on Main Street, sucking up six cars and the local farmer’s market, the town … READ MORE
“HE REACHED INOT THE CUP TO GET HIS BALL – AND DISAPPEARED! Four golfers in North Carolina had just finished playing the 16th hole when one reached in to retrieve his ball and was sucked into oblivion. The other three played through. But after cocktails, the linkers decided to investigate their pal’s disappearance since they’d … READ MORE