TOLEDO, OH – Thousands of dead walleye fish have been washing up on shores of Lake Erie.
MONTLUCON, FRANCE – A chimney sweep discovers a chimney wormhole!
BRITS OPT FOR ROBOTIC CHILDREN
LONDON – The British are forgoing having children and instead buying robotic children.
MANILA – Scientists have discovered a rat-eating plant in the Philippines, and named it after Sir David Attenborough!
MAN CHARGED WITH MURDERING COMPUTER
MUMBAI – In one of the most controversial cases in legal history, a man is being charged with murder for destroying a computer.
Oil Drill Opens Hole Into Hell
PRUDHOE BAY, AK – Something is emerging from Hell!
That is the horrifying warning of more than 60 eyewitnesses who have seen the monstrous shape roaring out of a mile-deep Alaskan oil well amid stinking clouds of sulfur.