SAN DIEGO – The Padres, two games out for the wild card, decided to sell their souls to the devil.
WWN Staff
JIMMY CARTER PREGNANT!
CLEVELAND – Doctors have finally diagnosed Jimmy Carter’s mysterious medical condition: he’s pregnant!
SOMALI PIRATES TO ACQUIRE CITIBANK
DJIBOUTI – The Somali pirates, renegade Somalis known for hijacking ships for ransom in the Gulf of Aden, are negotiating a purchase of Citigroup.
BAT BOY REGISTERS TO VOTE IN 48 STATES
AUSTIN, TX – On the campus of The University of Texas yesterday afternoon, Bat Boy registered to vote in the Lone Star State.
This marked the forty-eighth state in which the half-bat, half-boy national icon successfully registered to help the nation decide the next US President.
MERRILL LYNCH SLAUGHTERS BULL MASCOT
NEW YORK, NY – As part of the acquisition by Bank of America, Merrill Lynch agreed to slaughter their famous bull corporate logo.
Ancient Mayan Temple Has SanDisk Flash Drive
Shocking news on the heels of Samsung’s bid for SanDisk!
Bar in Woods has Lumberjack Bouncers
People looking to escape the hassle of most bars and clubs in the city had better think twice before heading out to The Treehouse this weekend.