LONDON – Researchers believed a five-fold increase in UFO sightings in 1996 was due to the screening of TV series “The X-Files”.

GAITHERSBURG, MD – Former astronaut Edgar Mitchell stated at a UFO conference that extraterrestrial life exists and the government is actively covering it up.

MILKY WAY – Residents of the upscale Alpha Centauri district are petitioning the local government to enforce harsh restrictions on travel to and from Earth.

HAVANA, CUBA – Fidel Castro met with US lawmakers for the first time in years this Tuesday. Political expert the Alien was on hand to assist with the talks.

As any Weekly World News reader knows, the Roswell incident is 100% fact. CNN further validates the event when they revisit the crash site.

GROOM LAKE, NV – Mega-celeb Oprah Winfrey has been in discussions with top government officials in an attempt to purchase Area 51.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an attempt to boost his chances, McCain offered to fix the economy by selling secret government artifacts on Ebay. Unfortunately, the maverick senator doesn’t quite get computers and sold it all too cheaply.

New cracks have appeared in the 61-year cover-up of a fatal UFO crash in Roswell, New Mexico