Two and a Half Men Archives - Weekly World News

ASHTON KUTCHER TO GET LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD

The “Two and a Half Men” actor will be honored at the 84th Annual Academy Awards.

BOGOTA, COLOMBIA – Charlie Sheen has been in Colombia for the last week, trying to start his own drug cartel.

BEVERLY HILLS, CA – Brett Ratner and Don Mischer announced today that the 84th Academy Awards will be hosted by Charlie Sheen.

PHOENIX – The Arizona Diamondbacks signed Charlie Sheen as a reserve second baseman for the remainder of the season.

WASHINGTON – After a man was detained by the Secret Service for jumping a fence at the White House – Charlie Sheen jumped over, too.

Men across the country are now getting The Charlie Sheen Tattoo. And… they’re winning!

Check out this mash-up of Charlie Sheen “Winning”.

HOLLYWOOD – Charlie Sheen has hired an alien as new publicist. And they are both “winning” according to Sheen.

HOLLYWOOD – Charlie Sheen announced today that when he gets out of rehab he will be adopting seven porn stars and living with them in a new home.

BEVERLY HILLS – Hollywood can relax. The briefcase containing Charlie Sheen’s cocaine supply has been found!