LIMA – Peru’s government is blaming an alien infiltration for the unexplained killing of thousands of dolphins.
GROUNDHOG DEAD!
PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA – Punxsutawney Phil was found dead this morning in an apparent suicide.
PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA – Punxsutawney Phil was found dead this morning in an apparent suicide.
SHANGHAI – Thousands of dead pigs have been found in a river that runs through the heart of Shanghai, sparking panic about the cleanliness of the city’s drinking water.
HOLLYWOOD – Warner Brothers announced that Ben Affleck has signed on to direct and star in his next feature, a biopic titled “SPIELBERG.”
LIMA – Peru’s government is blaming an alien infiltration for the unexplained killing of thousands of dolphins.
BRICK, N.J. – Beach Front Inc., a tanning bed company, has launched a line of child-friendly tanning beds called Junior Fun Tan.
NEW YORK – Aliens have visited space shuttle Enterprise, and left evidence behind to prove it.
LOS ANGELES – ABC has just announced the next Bachelor: Lamar Hurd of Portland, Oregon, the show’s first bachelor of color.
CARTAGENA, Colombia – The Colombian woman in the middle of the Secret Service scandal has spoken out.
HONG KONG – Apple’s CEO Timothy D. Cook announced lower iPhone prices during a visit to a plant in China today.
NEW YORK – Tim Tebow is hitting the high seas with Carnival Cruises for a faith-based football cruise this May.