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Bat Ball Boy

It looks like Bat Boy has moved on from James Blake to another famous tennis player: Andre Agassi.
Although Agassi retired in 2006, he continues to play charity tournaments. It has been long whispered that Agassi is often found immediately after the game, catching mosquitoes in the parking lot with a dark, pointy-eared figure.
What could Bat Boy possibly have to gain from a retired athlete? The plot thickens…

Bat Boy Incident

Bat Boy has now struck at one of Hollywood’s most recognizable leading ladies, Sharon Stone!
In 2005, Stone helped raise funds for mosquito nets in Tanzania. Was Bat Boy offended? His love of mosquitoes is well known.
Word has gotten around that Stone is distancing herself from the net incident and refusing to participate in any future pledge drives.
A photographer has boasted he has a shot of Stone in a nightgown and no shoes feasting on mosquitoes in a field, but he has yet to sell it.

Bat Boy Hangs with David Blaine

NEW YORK, NY – Bat Boy visited David Blaine during his “Upside Down Man” stunt, where Blaine is hanging by his feet for 60 hours in Central Park.
Bat Boy didn’t seem to understand what all the hooplah was about, as he sleeps every day by hanging from the top of his cave in West Virginia.
To show his support, he brought a swarm of mosquitoes for Blaine to feast on for sustenance. Blaine thanked him but politely declined.

Rat Girl Discovered!

“This is just as astounding as when Bat Boy was found in a West Virginia cave,” declared Norton Timmins of The Scientific Journal of Extreme Oddities

Bat Boy's Vampire Weekend

Bat Boy was spotted last night in Louisville, Kentucky, taking in a Vampire Weekend performance!
Concertgoers are reporting that he slipped past security using a disguise, consisting of skinny jeans and an “Ithaca is Gorges” t-shirt.
Bat Boy squeaked and squealed along to Vampire Weekend’s Upper West Side Soweto beats. After the show, he snuck backstage and showed his appreciation to the band by bringing them mosquitoes to devour.

FALL OUT BAT BOY

Bat Boy made a rare public appearance when Fall Out Boy invited him on stage. Through high-pitched squeaks and squeals, Bat Boy then convinced the band to run off with him into the night and devour mosquitoes.
Ashlee Simpson did not attend.

AMERICAN BAT BOY

The Weekly World News continues its crusade of exposing Bat Boy’s true nature by presenting this new discovery. It appears that he may have developed the very frightening power of mind control.