BIGFOOT BURIAL GROUND
PORTLAND, OR – An archaeologist is finally returning to the secret Bigfoot burial ground she discovered 16 years ago!
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BIGFOOT TWITTER HACKED
BLUE MOUNTAINS, OR – After a spate of high-profile Twitter accounts were hacked, the world’s most famous cryptid became the next victim.
DIANE SAWYER INTERVIEWS BIGFOOT PROSTITUTE
SEATTLE, WA – For her special this Friday, Diane Sawyer interviewed several unique stories in the sex industry, including a Sasquatch who turned to prostitution to survive.
BIGFOOT FIRED FROM GREY'S ANATOMY
LOS ANGELES, CA – ABC has fired Bigfoot from the TV show “Grey’s Anatomy” as an act of minimizing on-air interspecial relationships.
TINA FEY SHOOTS A BIGFOOT
WASILLA, AK – Tina Fey, who has made headlines recently by impersonating Governor Sarah Palin, has gone so far as to lampoon her famous aerial shooting of a Bigfoot.
BIGFOOT WITH… BAT BOY?!
VANCOUVER, CANADA – Researchers are combing the wilds of British Columbia in response to recent sightings of Bigfoot with a pointy-eared boy!
PALIN EXTERMINATING BIGFOOT
MARTINSVILLE, IL. – Bigfoot must be placed on Endangered Species List, and activists lay blame on Sarah Palin!
PALIN BAGS A BIGFOOT
WASILLA, AK – Records and eyewitnesses have come to light that prior to announcing her candidacy for the Vice Presidency; Sarah Palin shot a Bigfoot from a helicopter.
A government helicopter was seen flying low over the Chugach National Park with what witnesses described as “a sexy librarian shooting out the side.” Employees at a local bait shop report seeing a similar woman only hours before carrying an infant in a camouflage Baby Bjorn.
JAPANESE RESTAURANT HIRES TINY BIGFOOT BUSBOY
TOKYO, JAPAN – Following reports this week of a Japanese restaurant employing a staff of monkey waiters, Shibuya hideaway, DaiDai, has announced the recent hire of the world’s tiniest Bigfoot!
BIGFOOT BABY IS A BRAT!
ALTURAS, CA – A frazzled, young government researcher says she’s sick and tired of caring for the baby Bigfoot who was captured by scientists – because the squalling, rambunctious furball is a brat!
“I thought being mom to a newborn Bigfoot would be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity – but I had no idea what I was getting into,” admits zoologist Dr. Megan Dulowsky.