WASILLA, AK – Records and eyewitnesses have come to light that prior to announcing her candidacy for the Vice Presidency; Sarah Palin shot a Bigfoot from a helicopter.

A government helicopter was seen flying low over the Chugach National Park with what witnesses described as “a sexy librarian shooting out the side.” Employees at a local bait shop report seeing a similar woman only hours before carrying an infant in a camouflage Baby Bjorn.

The Bigfoot, or Sasquatch as it is known in scientific circles, was found dead on the outskirts of the park, just south of Wasilla, Alaska.  Preliminary forensics reports confirm that an adult male Sasquatch was shot in the face with Palin’s trademark 5mm M4 Carbine Assault Rifle.

Environmental groups are in an uproar at the hunting death of a rare and notoriously reclusive species.  Efforts to have the Sasquatch placed on the endangered species list have met with repeated opposition from state legislature, since protecting the ‘Missing Link’ could be seen as validating evolution.
Conservatives have immediately rallied to their party’s new star, citing that gun ownership and hunting are indelible parts of American culture.  Indeed this point is hard to argue, as John Adams was notorious for having captured what he called a “Skunk Ape” and killing it with his bare hands on the White House lawn in front of a paying audience.

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91 thoughts on “PALIN BAGS A BIGFOOT”

  1. It makes me mad as hell that people are out there shooting Bigfeet from hellocopters! These shy and reclusive creatures are probably smarter than a dolphin.

  2. This is so bogus. The Bigfeet range is actually increasing due to global warming. They're not half as rare as the stupid environmentalists would have you believe. We could pump ANWR and use some of the money to protect their habitat. Screw the caribou.

  3. So they say she shot it with a 5.56mm M4 and they picture her with a 7.62X39 AK47….I cry foul. Everyone in Alaska knows the only thing that can really stop a Bigfoot is a .50 BMG.

  4. This is so bogus. The rifle in the picture is a Russian AK 47 Variant of some type and not a good ol' American M4 carbine. Plus the m4 uses the U.S. Military .223/5.56 mm cartridge while the AK47 variant is probably using a 7.62 39 mm round, which would have a bigger kick to take down a Bigfoot.
    This is actually a step up from the BB gun they had her posing with in the bikini picture. That was so fake. This one is not setup well either. I had to cut it down some to make a good desktop background. How rude.
    Good Hunting Sarahcuda!
    I'd rather get my brains blown out in the wild than wait in terror at the slaughterhouse. – Craig Volk, Northern Exposure, A-Hunting We Will Go, 1991

  5. I bet the hide would make a kick-ass pair of shoes! "Palin Pumps- For The Woman Who Does Everything And Looks Great Doing It!!
    McCain/Palin '08

  6. I think the act of hunting with a baby facing forward abominable and that this is worse than Britney letting her child drive her car. K-Fed wants a piece now!!!!!

  7. [[ "These shy and reclusive creatures are probably smarter than a dolphin." ]]
    Which puts them about three jumps higher on the evolutionary scale than a registered democrat.

  8. Mental note not to go hunting with Palin. Cheney's buddy got shot in the face. You know where Palin will shoot you. Got to be careful with those running mates.

  9. CORRECTION: Because of an editing error, the Palin photograph had the wrong cutline. The correct one is:
    George W. Bush, dressed as a gorilla for the annual Foggy Bottom Costume and Pork Barrel Party, was accidentally shot today by Sarah Palin. "I was just faster on the draw than Cheney," said Palin. "His gun jammed. That'll teach him to reload his own rounds."

  10. That poor bigfoot! What if it had a family huh?
    I don't think we have any Bigfoots/feet here in New Zealand. Think they could survive over here?

  11. It's okay. She had a "sasquatch liscense" with a two-bag limit. She's got one more to go.
    But if she just left it there to rot, and didn't skin it or nothin', she should be arrested.

  12. I cannot believe anyone thinks anything from this newspaper is true. This is just another "Rag Bag" newspaper, with outragously bogus stories that pathetic people think are true.
    Its just a joke, get over it and don't take this BS seriously. If you don't like what I have to say, tuff crap, its america and I have a right to freedom of speach

  13. Much as it pains me, I must inform WWN and their readership that Gov. Palin did NOT bag a bigfoot.
    That's actually Bawney Fwank, who forgot to shave his back that day…

  14. SARAH PALIN IS BIGFOOT. America voted the retarded Monkey President Bush in twice. So the GOP caught and shaved a Bigfoot and called it Palin. Unfortunately the Bigfoot they caught rode the short bus to school.

  15. After 41 years it now can be seen. Yes the Patterson and Gimlin Bigfoot film is a hoax. The proof. Bob Gimlin claim he was on his horse the whole time not true for Bob Gimlin was found in 1 of the still shots and he was standing behind the brush as the Bigfoot walked by him. There was two image of men taken out of the film however the image of the two men still can be seen. In the beginning of the film you will see Patterson going down a road on his horse as someone was filming him and at the bottom of the frame you will see another man hat come in and out of frame that makes more then just the two men there as it is claim. There is a lot more I can tell and show and the key word is show. Yes after my 6 month research on the P/G film it now can be shown as a hoax and I have the proof to show.

  16. Palin and the Bigfoot
    Palin was hovering about and the Bigfoot male saw her belly button. When he heard her calling to him, he recognized a love of equal intellect and made the mistake of having an erection. Palin had to shoot that down.
    Lou Paris

  17. That Sasquatch rug is going to look great in front of the fireplace in the Governors Mansion. How can we get a governor like her? If she isn't elected as the next President then I'm moving to Alaska to start a Sasquatch hunting guide business.

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