WASHINGTON, DC – Vice President Dick Cheney has announced that he is a Vampire. At a press conference in the hours before dawn, Cheney stated, “I am an Undead-American.”
CHAOS CLOUD GLARES AT SANTA BARBARA
SANTA BARBARA, CA – As the fires die down in Southern California, the Chaos Cloud moved in and set his ominous scowl.
SNL REJECTS LAKE ERIE MONSTER
LONG ISLAND SOUND, NY – The Lake Erie Monster tried out for the Saturday Night Live auditions to find new female cast members.
CHAOS CLOUD SLAMS ASIA
BEIJING, CHINA – The Chaos Cloud has been spreading across Asia to finally center in on one of the world’s most polluted cities.
CHAOS CLOUD COVERS NEW HAVEN
NEW HAVEN, CT – The Chaos Cloud settled over New Haven City Hall yesterday in preparation for the start of official gay marriages.
CHAOS CLOUD COVERS GUANTANAMO BAY
GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA – Rumors that President-elect Barack Obama will close the Guantanamo Bay prison has left more than just humans concerned.
OBATMA: CABINET MEMBER?
CHICAGO, IL – President-Elect Barack Obama will soon be appointing members to his cabinet, and insiders are predicting one surprising addition.
MCCAIN EBAYS GOVERNMENT SECRETS
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an attempt to boost his chances, McCain offered to fix the economy by selling secret government artifacts on Ebay.
ICE QUEEN CINDY MCCAIN
SVALBARD, NORWAY – Cindy McCain will return to her ice kingdom following the November elections should her husband not be victorious.