LOS ANGELES, CA – Octuplet mom Nadya Suleman launched a website to solicit donations for her family, but it was immediately hacked by a group of vigilante mothers!
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ANGRY WHALE DESTROYS BRIDGE
OSLO – A massive, 40-ton whale roared toward the freedom of the open sea, and destroyed a half-mile bridge that stood in its way.
WESTMINSTER DOG SHOW RIGGED
NEW YORK, NY – Accusations have been lodged that Mulrog aliens tried to rig the 2009 Westminster Dog Show.
NO STIMULUS PETITION
WASHINGTON, DC – A “No Stimulus Bill” petition being circulated by the Americans For Prosperity is gaining strong momentum.
FATHERS AGAINST MOTHERS AGAINST DRUNK DRIVING
WASHINGTON, DC – Fathers all over the nation are uniting under the slogan “I drive better when I’ve had a few.”
CHRIS JERICHO FIGHT WITH MUTANT
VICTORIA, BC – Pro wrestler Chris Jericho was assaulted after a match this weekend. It now seems Manigator, the half-man half-alligator mutant, started the fight.
ALEX RODRIGUEZ ADMITS STEROID USE
NEW YORK, NY – Alex Rodriguez has admitted to taking performance-enhancing drugs, and all the angels in the heavens above have wept as one.
MY BOYFRIEND IS A ZOMBIE
AMSTERDAM – Accident victim Godfried Lansing was declared dead and lay in a morgue for 48 spine-chilling hours before suddenly bouncing back to life.
ANN COULTER IN VOTER FRAUD SCANDAL
HARTFORD, CT – Weekly World News investigators have discovered that Ann Coulter may actually be a man.
PHELPS LOSES ENDORSEMENT DEAL
BALTIMORE, MD – Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps has lost an endorsement contract with Nabisco.