BAT BOY TESTS NEGATIVE FOR CORONAVIRUS!
RESUMES 2020 ELECTION CAMPAIGN! WASHINGTON DC – After a tense few days, the test results …
Mutants
IS TAYLOR SWIFT MAKING BAT BOY BOOTIES?
NASHVILLE, TN – Taylor Swift was reportedly knitting booties while in quarantine. Sources close to …
BIGFOOT HOOKER ON WALL STREET!
CALMING NERVES DURING THE STOCK MARKET SWOON! NEW YORK CITY – Bigfoot Hooker arrived on …
BUTTFISH WASH ASHORE IN FLORIDA!
MOVE OVER, PENIS FISH! HERE COME THE BUTTS! Last year, California was treated to “penis …
BAT BOY BOYCOTTS SUPER TUESDAY!
And The Reason May Shock You! Bat Boy, the iconoclastic independent whose every move seems …
BAT BOY SEEKS THE BAT VOTE!
ARE WING VOTERS SWING VOTERS? Bats are not allowed to vote. Yet. But if Bat …
BAT BOY QUALIFIES FOR DEBATE!
He’s Ready to Rumble! Every Democratic debate has been slightly different, from the crowded stages …
MANIGATOR IN LOVE?!?
Is the cold-blooded legend ready to warm up? After years slinking out of the swamps …
STRONG FINISH FOR BAT BOY!
Time-Travel Mishap Can’t Derail Campaign! Bat Boy, whose 2020 candidacy picked up momentum last week …