CAPE TOWN, SOUTH AFRICA – “Man vs. Wild” star Bear Grylls was airlifted out of Antarctica over the weekend after sustaining a shoulder injury.
Gerry Dorsey
BURRESS BLAMES LEPRECHAUN FOR INJURY
NEW YORK, NY – Plaxico Burress has finally admitted who – or what – he was aiming at when he accidentally shot himself.
UPDATE: OBATMA CELEBRATES!
UPDATE: Obatma rejoices over Clinton’s nomination for Secretary of State position: the Bureau of Mutant Affairs is his!
EXTREME MAKEOVER: MANIGATOR EDITION
HOMESTEAD, FL – “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” was gracious enough to feature Manigator on last week’s episode. In usual form, Manigator was not gracious in return.
BAT BOY IN BAT SWARM
CARTER COUNTY, KY – Bat Boy was spotted joining in on a bat swarm in an effort to meet girls.
9-FT-TALL CYCLOPS JOINS NBA
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Towering, 9-foot basketball player Koyati has no trouble keeping one eye on the ball – the Maasai hoop star is a real-life Cyclops!
MANIGATOR SPOTTED ON GEORGIA BEACH
JEKYLL ISLAND, GA – A terrifying creature with the head of a man and the scaly body of an alligator was seen making its way along Georgia’s Jekyll Island
Undead Demand Health Insurance
Washington, DC – The nation’s undead community is demanding the right to health insurance—and it is a battle it can win, say experts.
Dwarf Vampires
Seattle emergency room physicians been dealing with a rash of patients suffering from strange ankle bites