LAS VEGAS, NV – President-Elect Obama’s streak of intergalactic bad luck continues this week as the Installation Commander of Area 51 refused to hand over the keys.
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OPRAH TRIES TO PURCHASE AREA 51
GROOM LAKE, NV – Mega-celeb Oprah Winfrey has been in discussions with top government officials in an attempt to purchase Area 51.
OJ SIMPSON: COLLEGE PROFESSOR
CHICAGO, IL – The University of Illinois at Chicago announced this morning that they have offered OJ Simpson an adjunct professorship in its prestigious Drama department.