HOW TO SELL YOUR SOUL TO THE DEVIL
You can have power, wealth, an attractive mate and virtually anything else you ever dreamed of – by selling your soul to Satan! But how?
HOW TO TELL IF YOU’RE A CLONE
A practical guide to finding the “real you” They say everyone has a twin. A doppelganger. A stranger somewhere in the world who looks just like you. How to tell if you’re a clone? Ever wonder why that is? Most of us know it’s because alien cloning programs have been active on Earth for millennia. Need … READ MORE
AUTHOR FORGETS STUFF—OR DOES HE?
Evan McQueen has been terrifying readers with his horror novels for decades. But now, it’s not his books that are scaring people—it’s his tweets. These tweets, in which he questions the disappearance of everyday things that haven’t actually disappeared, have left many puzzled. This had lead many readers to ask, AUTHOR FORGETS STUFF—OR DOES HE?” … READ MORE
PLANET NIBiRU TO COLLIDE WITH EARTH!
A prominent astrophysicist has confirmed that NIBIRU COULD COLLIDE WITH EARTH AS EARLY AS March 1st, 2024. Dr. Frank Mallikovski, formerly with NASA, told Weekly World News that Planet Nibiru (also known as Planet X) is heading toward Earth at an accelerated speed. “I have been studying Nibiru for the last 25 years. There’s a … READ MORE
5 TIPS FOR SELLING YOUR SOUL TO THE DEVIL
WHY WAIT TO GET WHAT YOU WANT? GET IT NOW BY SELLING YOUR SOUL ! You want power, wealth, a perfect body, great sex with a perfect mate and food that nourishes your body and mind. And you want all your dreams to come true and needs that you can’t wait to have fulfilled. But … READ MORE
SANTA HIRES OUTSIDE PROTECTION THIS YEAR!
WILL WEREWOLVES ON WHEELS SAVE CHRISTMAS? It was just about a week ago that this WWN stalwart received a strange phone call. “Brick? This is Santa Claus. I need your help.” “If you’re Santa, then I’m the Easter Bunny,” this scribe replied, with casual snark. The voice on the other end of the phone then … READ MORE
ALIEN ENCOUNTER FASHION TIPS
BEAM UP IN STYLE, AND PASS THE INTERSTELLAR VIBE CHECK Through 40 years of documenting alien encounters, Weekly World News has noticed a striking pattern: your choice of clothing influences the likelihood of your abduction. Your fashion style will determine whether extraterrestrials think you are a candidate for experimentation. Many abductees have vanished into the … READ MORE
VIKINGS EXPRESS DISMAY AT NOT BEING INVITED TO THANKSGIVING
Anthropologists recently confirmed that Vikings reached the shores of North America one thousand years ago. They also confirmed that these Nordic explorers felt dissed. Apparently, they weren’t invited to the first Thanksgiving. Cryptologists have translated The Viking ship logs. One entry reads: “No one even tried to reach out. Despite the fact that we predate … READ MORE
SCIENTISTS CREATED A TIME MACHINE THAT ELIMINATES MONDAYS.
A group of scientists led by Dr. Wilbur Smith of CalPoly made a colossal temporal discovery. They’ve created a working time machine! However, this time machines don’t take you in the future or the past. This time machine eliminates Mondays. In a laboratory that felt more like a sitcom set, Dr. Smith announced their findings … READ MORE
CURSED TEXTS LEFT UNTRANSLATED!
Professors Warn: Cuts in Funding and Tenure Cause Havoc! Ancient Evils REMAIN A SECRET! Recent labor strife at colleges and universities has unmasked long-term issues in academia,. From low wages, precarious employment, and lower-quality education for students to the cost of intellectual inquiry. And a new report from the National Endowment for the Humanities finds … READ MORE