A 29-year-old Tokyo man, Kenichi Ito, has gone bananas. He’s the fastest monkey runner in the world.
OBAMA EATS ROMNEY'S DOG
WASHINGTON – The Doggy Wars between Romney and Obama escalated. Romney left his dog on his car roof and… Barack found a meal!
FIRST BLACK "BACHELOR" ANNOUNCED
LOS ANGELES – ABC has just announced the next Bachelor: Lamar Hurd of Portland, Oregon, the show’s first bachelor of color.
TELEVISION FOR DOGS
DOGTV is a new breed of programming – an on-demand cable TV channel designed to keep your dog relaxed, stimulated and entertained.
FROZEN COWS BLOWN UP!
DENVER — Local authorities used explosives to drive a herd of frozen cows out of a cabin in the Rocky Mountains.
U.S. INVADES CHICAGO!
CHICAGO – The U.S. launched an invasion last night as special forces units and Blackhawk helicopters attacked the city.
KILLER RACCOONS IN FLORIDA!
MERRITT ISLAND, FL – Wild, vicious raccoons are attacking citizens in Kiwanis Island Park.