ATLANTA, GA – American Idol has returned for its ninth season, but viewers aren’t focusing on the winners!
Month: January 2010
PAT ROBERTSON
LOS ANGELES, CA – Pat Robertson said that Haiti’s catastrophic earthquake was caused by the Devil. The Devil says, “I had nothing to do with it!”
EARTH'S ROTATION SLOWING
ANCHORAGE, AK – Scientists say they have detected a slowing of our planet’s rotation, and predict the Earth will stop spinning altogether in as little as three years!
HUMAN-FACED LAMB
ISTANBUL – A sheep has given birth to a stillborn lamb with human features. Beware: not for the squeamish!
ALESHA MCMULLEN
KANSAS CITY, MO – A woman has finally been charged for the now infamous trashing of a Missouri McDonald’s!
SIMON COWELL LEAVING AMERICAN IDOL
LOS ANGELES, CA – Simon Cowell is leaving American Idol to teach Democrats how to stand up to Republicans.
ED ANGER: "AMERICA'S GONE TO POT!"
I’m madder than a hippie with a busted bong! Everywhere I look, I hear about how they want to make marijuana legal!
DARREN THE WAVING GOAT
LONDON – Darren the Waving Goat has turned down an appearance on the TV show Britain’s Got Talent!