LOS ANGELES, CA – Pat Robertson said that Haiti’s catastrophic earthquake was caused by the Devil.  The Devil says, “I had nothing to do with it!”
On Wednesday Televangelist Pat Robertson said that Haiti suffered a massive earthquake earlier this week because of a deal with the Devil.  He said that years ago “they were under the heel of the French. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, we will serve you if you’ll get us free from the French. True story. And so, the devil said, okay it’s a deal.”  The Devil has since come forward to deny these claims.
Satan, crowned Prince of Darkness, held a press conference last night to deny Pat Robertson’s accusations.  Flanked by a team of lawyers the Devil spoke at a conference room in the Los Angeles Hyatt.  “I had Nothing to do with that earthquake!  Sometimes things just happen in the physical world, without any reason or spiritual intervention.  I never made a pact with the entire country of Haiti!  That’s absurd!
“If Pat Robertson wants to say otherwise, then where’s his proof?  He has no proof!  He’s just a mean old bigot who will look at someone else’s suffering and say they deserved it because they made a deal with me.  I had nothing to do with it!”  The Devil stepped aside to regain his composure.
One of Satan’s many lawyers then came forward to complete the statement.  “My client has come forward to deny these slanderous accusations by Pat Robertson.  At no point in time did he, or any representative of Hell, make a deal with the country of Haiti.  Our database has no record of any such contract.  In fact any investigation into our practices will reveal that all deals with the Devil are made on an individual basis.  Also my client has an alibi.  Four priests and a midwife will swear that he was possessing a ten year old Ecuadorean boy at the time of the earthquake.  These baseless accusations amount to nothing more than a smear campaign that Mr. Robertson has waged against my client.”
The Devil will be filing suit against Pat Robertson for slander, defamation of character, and emotional duress.

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13 thoughts on “PAT ROBERTSON”

  1. "Religious Right people" WTF is that? Last I heard Pat Robertson doesn't speak for anyone but himself, the guy is a kook and has nothing to do with Cristian Fundamentalist nor the Conservative Right if that's what you're referring to.

  2. Christian Coalition of America, the organization founded by Pat Robertson, has always been tightly associated with the views of the political right. He ran the 1988 presidential race under the conservative platform which was supported by millions.
    If Pat Robertson only speaks for himself, I don't think he'd have such a large following, mostly consisting of those persons who identify themselves with conservative points of view. If he is NOT someone who speaks for Christian fundamentalists, then I'm puzzled as to why Christian fundamentalists still allow him to speak for them and support him, and the rest of the "American Taliban", every step of the way. It has always been this way. No need to turn a blind eye now.

    • American Taliban? Next you'll be saying that because the I'm a Conservative that I whole-heartedly support Sarah Palin. Each side has their own sense of priority and they are not all encompassing.

  3. Go do that VooDoo,that you do so well ! Pat Robertson is a full blown wack job. His only purpose in life is to steal money from mental midgets and fill them with false hope. As far as Satan – I attempted to have a tele-conference with him many years ago – it never happened, but I'm still paying for the request. Hati is Gods' outhouse.

  4. Pat Robertson is to be applauded for showing all the Bible Belt Born Agains what a steaming piece of dung he really is. He's been showing and telling them for years but they keep sending him money anyway. Now maybe they'll get it and find another guru.

  5. 75% of Haitians are practising Catholics. Just because they live in an impoverished area and have a historical tale of practising activities that aren't in line with our more modern view of what is acceptable doesn't make them a target.
    Do you who are practising Christians honestly believe your God is that spiteful that he would slaughter tens of thousands of people who do believe and worship Him simply because of a ritualized act from a few hundred years ago??

  6. Pat Robertson need to get his facts right. Nopoleon The thrid had nothing to do with haiti. When Nopoleon the thrid became empire haiti was already recognized as it country.
    Nopoleon the thrid became empire in 1852 and haiti was recognized as a country in 1815. Not to mention that he making a myth seem really. i think that blessed man need to shut up and think and resaarch the facts from the myth before opening his blasted mouth. i am from the caribbean and it is all a lie what he is saying about haiti.

  7. If they had a pact with the Devil, then the Devil would have protected them.
    It was all Gods fault, right Pat?
    I myself blame the Earth, damn those Tectonics and their plates. Somebody needs to do something to Mother Earth, that'll show here.


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