I’m madder than a drag queen who’s run out of duct tape over this gay marriage business.
I’m madder than a bulimic with a broken finger over this whole Ann Coulter business.
I’m madder than Jesse Ventura with a busted microphone about that idiot Al Franken. It’s bad enough America picked a commie President with a crazy name, but now Minnesota went and made some potty mouth “comedian” a senator.
My America, the America I know and love has been in a coma. For too long it has been asleep at the wheel… the wheel of a foreign-made car. It’s time to wake up and tell the rest of the world to GET OFF OUR LAWN!!!
Legendary Weekly World News columnist Ed Anger has suffered a debilitating break down brought on by the election results.
I’m madder than a tomcat with his tail in a light socket over the bleeding-heart demand to outlaw capital punishment.
I’m madder than a weightlifter with a slippery barbell over all these women bodybuilders I’m seeing nowadays.
I’m madder than Richard Petty with a flat tire over all the talk about lowering the speed limit on the U.S. highways. Just a few years ago we were able to move the speed limit up to 70 m.p.h. but now some Nervous Nellies want to push it back to 55 m.p.h.
I’m madder than chair-tossing hoops coach Bobby Knight with road rage about a new survey I just read saying that Americans are too rude!
I’m madder than a schoolteacher with a rotten apple over the big hubbub about kids cheating in school. A government study that just came out says 70 percent – seven of 10 – high school students fessed up that they cheat on tests. Thank heavens, I say!