LOS ANGELES, CA – Audio surfaced this week of Christian Bale losing it on the set of his new film Terminator: Salvation. Now the sentient machine he was berating is considering suing for emotional abuse.
TAMPA, FL – Divine intervention is believed to have brought Super Bowl victory to the Pittsburgh Steelers last night.
LOS ANGELES, CA – Suzanne Somers has recently come forward with the experimental hormone program which will give her eternal life.
WASHINGTON, DC – Last night, Congress passed a proposed $819 billion stimulus package. At a vote of 244 to 188, the bill passed despite no Republican support.
NORFOLK, VA – After being rejected by NBC for risque content, PETA has reshot their TV ad in a bid to nab a Superbowl slot.
WASHINGTON, DC – The US has proposed engaging in direct diplomacy with Iran, and President Mahmoud Ahmedinejad appears happy to participate.
WASHINGTON, DC – After criticizing the economic stimulus plan, Republicans have chained themselves to doors of the Capitol Building to block its passing.
PARIS – Former French president Jacques Chirac was rushed to the hospital this week after being attacked by his white Maltese poodle, Sumo.
WASHINGTON, DC – Continuing the tradition, outgoing President Bush left a personal note to the new President Obama in the Oval Office.
WASHINGTON, DC – Abraham Lincoln’s ghost has been spotted among strange occurrences at the Obama inauguration.