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HOLLYWOOD – Perez Hilton, 2.0 – the softer, kinder version – has opened a stuffed animal zoo.
NFL TO BECOME FLAG FOOTBALL LEAGUE
The NFL is changing its rules to outlaw tackling. It will now be a flag football league.
Frank Lake
ALIEN SPACESHIPS TO ATTACK EARTH IN DECEMBER!
Three giant alien spaceships are again heading for Earth! Scientists predict the new ships will arrive in December 2013.
DRONES TARGET RAND PAUL
Soon after Rand Paul ended his filibuster on drones, the White House ordered drones to follow the Kentucky Senator.
AFRICAN-AMERICAN AIRLINES
LOS ANGELES – Tyler Perry reportedly made an offer to buy bankrupt American Airlines. They accepted. The new airline: African-American Airlines.
THE JETPACK IS HERE!
NEW ZEALAND – A commercially developed jetpack, The Martin, is ready for liftoff!
ALIEN ICE FALLS ON BROOKLYN
Chunks of alien ice balls fell from the sky on an 80-degree day in Brooklyn.
CHARLIE SHEEN FINDS KUSHTAKA!
Charlie Sheen went to Alaska to find Kushtaka (half-man, half-otter) and… he found him! A month after his Loch Ness monster mission failed, Charlie Sheen headed to Alaska to find the mythic Kushtaka, which translates to “land ottter man.” Sheen went into the Alaska wilderness with his friend, Marla Palotta last week armed only with three cups … READ MORE
FARMERS' ALMANAC PREDICTS COMING ICE AGE
The Farmers’ Almanac is predicting a new Ice Age to begin in January, 2014.