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Monthly Archives: February 2011
VITA COCO SIGNS KIRK DOUGLAS
HOLLYWOOD – Kirk Douglas made a surprise appearance at the Oscars last night and announced that he is endorsing Vita Coco – 100% natural coconut water.
70 DEAD DOLPHINS
ALABAMA – 70 dead dolphins washed ashore. It was not due to the BP Oil Spill. Authorities confirmed the deaths were caused by aliens from Planet Zeeba.
OSCAR WINNERS LIST RELEASED EARLY!
HOLLYWOOD — PricewaterhouseCoopers, the accounting firm for the Academy Awards, accidentally posted the winners on their website this morning.
BJ PENN TO BECOME A POET
SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA – After the UFC 127 majority draw BJ Penn calls it quits to get creative.
BANKSY’S OSCAR NOMINATION A HOAX!
HOLLYWOOD, CA – A spokesman for the 83rd Annual Academy Awards announced this morning that Banksy’s alleged Oscar nomination for Best Documentary was a hoax!
KEENAN CAHILL TO TOUR WITH 50 CENT
NEW YORK, NY – 50 Cent announced today that he is going on tour with Keenan Cahill.
BIGFOOT SELLS OUT
NEW YORK, NY – Bigfoot strikes it rich in the big city.
SKUNK APE
FORT LAUDERDALE, FL – After years of hiding out in Everglades National Park, Skunk Ape is having a coming out party.
BREAST MILK ICE CREAM
Ice cream parlors and grocery stores across the U.S. will begin selling ice cream made from breast milk. It’s organic!
