JON AND KATE PLUS APE
WERNERSVILLE, PA – As the media attention grows surrounding allegations of infidelity, Jon and Kate Gosselin have asked for professional help from PhD Ape!
Monthly Archives: May 2009
BLAGO SHAMPOO: IT’S BLEEP’N GOLDEN
CHICAGO, IL – If there is anything besides his dismissal that former Governor Rod Blagojovich is best known for, it is his legendary head of hair.
SHANNA MOAKLER RESIGNS
LOS ANGELES, CA – Shanna Moakler has resigned as the executive director of the Miss California USA pageant. Instead, she will start her own Miss Nerd USA competition.
MARS TRADED WITH ANCIENT EGYPT
BERN – Swiss scientists say they can prove beyond a doubt that the Lost City of Atlantis was on Mars, and its astronauts traded with ancient Egypt for thousands of years!
THE LONGEST WAY
BERLIN – Christoph Rehage attempted to walk from Beijing to his homeland Germany, and spent a year on foot!
LIZ CHENEY DEFENDS FATHER
WASHINGTON, DC – Elizabeth Cheney is likening her father’s defense of waterboarding to Al Gore’s campaign for climate change.
ED ANGER SAYS: HANDS OFF MY CHEERIOS!
I’m madder than Count Chocula at a convention of diabetic dentists! Now I’ve heard everything! Seems the Government wants to call Cheerios a “drug”!
OBAMA’S SECRET PLAN TO BAN VACATIONS
WASHINGTON, DC – President Barack Obama is going to try to cancel all American workers’ vacations for the summer!
WEEK 1: Cows are people too, apparently
Cows are people too, apparently
GREAT PACIFIC GARBAGE PATCH
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Efforts have begun to minimize a garbage patch floating in the Pacific Ocean that is twice the size of Texas.
