WASHINGTON, DC – President Barack Obama is going to try to cancel all American workers’ vacations for the summer!
That’s the shocking word from one White House source, who says Obama’s stunning plan is a desperate attempt to boost American’s economy and ensure reelection in 2012.
“At first, people will hate Obama’s plan but in the end it’ll make him look like an economic genius,” an anonymous White House source said.
“His advisers calculate the scheme will increase U.S. productivity by almost 18 percent and add at least $1.2 trillion to the Gross National Product – because employees will be working an average of 2.5 extra weeks a year.”
“And when productivity skyrockets, America will quickly assume a stronger position in the international marketplace. In the long run millions of new jobs will be created – and unemployment will virtually disappear.”
White House officials refused to confirm whether Obama was considering the controversial proposal.
The most devious part of Obama’s plan is a loophole that will allow vacations for a select few people who work in the media, such as high-profile newspaper columnists and TV commentators. “Since these people won’t have to suffer, they’ll praise Obama like he’s a hero. Daily newspapers will be full of charts and graphs showing how the economy is moving along at a record pace.”
With the exceptions of federally monitored sick days, U.S. workers will be required to work all days except weekends and three government-approved holidays: Christmas, July 4th and Martin Luther King’s birthday,
The final step of Obama’s plan will be to call a major press conference on New Year’s Day 2010 and announce that he is granting everyone their vacations back for that year. “He knows the public has a short memory and by then will have forgiven him for taking away their vacations in teh first place,” the source said.
Obama’s advisors believe it will be difficult to get the plan through Congress, so he’ll probably enforce it through a special Presidential Order. He’s expected to announce the plan sometime in the next two weeks.