BREAKING – Facebook, a public company, has reportedly announced a bold new plan – charging users?
Goldman Sachs
FACEBOOK WILL END ON MAY 15th, 2013! (UPDATE)
PALO ALTO – Facebook continues to deny rumors it is shutting down on July 15th of 2012. WWN, however, has confirmed that it is true.
U.S. BAILS OUT FACEBOOK!
WASHINGTON – With March 15th approaching and the threat of Facebook shutting down, the U.S. decided to bailout Facebook!
GOLDMAN SACHS BANS U.S. INVESTORS FROM FACEBOOK
NEW YORK – In a ruse to cover-up the fact that Facebook is shutting down, Goldman Sachs announced that U.S. citizens are banned from investing in Facebook.
GOLDMAN PARTNER INJURED IN TRADING ACCIDENT
WWN FINANCIAL NEWS – A Goldman Sachs Group partner was hospitalized in a bizarre trading accident.
ED ANGER SAYS: CAT MEAT’S FOR COMMIES!
All these bailouts and whatnot have got me as mixed up as a high-class hooker at a Motel 6!