Bat Boy Gets Passport
Weekly World News investigative reporters have discovered that the U.S. government has issued Bat Boy a passport for international travel!
Reactions from politicians has been mixed.
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Bat Boy Hangs with David Blaine
NEW YORK, NY – Bat Boy visited David Blaine during his “Upside Down Man” stunt, where Blaine is hanging by his feet for 60 hours in Central Park.
Bat Boy didn’t seem to understand what all the hooplah was about, as he sleeps every day by hanging from the top of his cave in West Virginia.
To show his support, he brought a swarm of mosquitoes for Blaine to feast on for sustenance. Blaine thanked him but politely declined.
Bat Boy's Vampire Weekend
Bat Boy was spotted last night in Louisville, Kentucky, taking in a Vampire Weekend performance!
Concertgoers are reporting that he slipped past security using a disguise, consisting of skinny jeans and an “Ithaca is Gorges” t-shirt.
Bat Boy squeaked and squealed along to Vampire Weekend’s Upper West Side Soweto beats. After the show, he snuck backstage and showed his appreciation to the band by bringing them mosquitoes to devour.
FALL OUT BAT BOY
Bat Boy made a rare public appearance when Fall Out Boy invited him on stage. Through high-pitched squeaks and squeals, Bat Boy then convinced the band to run off with him into the night and devour mosquitoes.
Ashlee Simpson did not attend.
AMERICAN BAT BOY
The Weekly World News continues its crusade of exposing Bat Boy’s true nature by presenting this new discovery. It appears that he may have developed the very frightening power of mind control.
BAT BOY BRO-IN-LAW
Shortly after introducing his sister, Michelle Obama, CRAIG ROBINSON flew off into the Denver night to devour mosquitoes.
Exclusive Video! Bat Boy in NYC!
See exclusive video of Batboy in the NYC subway system. The elusive freak of nature is seen in the Big Apple!
Charlie of "Charlie Bit My Finger Again" Is Now Fingered as British Bat Boy
Shocking development coming from the UK. Charlie of “Charlie Bit My Finger Again” is reported to have vestigial wings that were removed at birth. Insiders are speculating that he could be the British Bat Boy.
Bat Ball Boy
It looks like Bat Boy has moved on from James Blake to another famous tennis player: Andre Agassi.
Although Agassi retired in 2006, he continues to play charity tournaments. It has been long whispered that Agassi is often found immediately after the game, catching mosquitoes in the parking lot with a dark, pointy-eared figure.
What could Bat Boy possibly have to gain from a retired athlete? The plot thickens…
ROYAL BABY! IT'S A BOY!
The Royal Baby is born… According to Royal watchers, Kate Middleton had a boy!