UPDATE – The killer crustacean has finally been identified as George the giant lobster’s son!
TopStory
BEAST OF EXMOOR DISCOVERED
LONDON – After almost 30 years of terror, the carcass of the British Beast of Exmoor has washed ashore, with evidence the government can’t deny!
DEAD SEA SCROLLS PREDICT 2009 FLOOD
PARIS – The Dead Sea Scrolls predicted that a Great Flood, like the one that destroyed Noah’s world, will sweep the Earth in 2009, drowning at least 2 billion people.
BURRIS AND OBATMA CRY TOGETHER
WASHINGTON, DC – After both parties were denied their rightful entry, Obatma and Roland Burris bonded over their rejection.
TOP 5 ALIEN PAINTINGS
Mygar, the most respected art critic this side of the Milky Way, presents the top 5 paintings of our galaxy.
PORN BAILOUT SOLUTION
WASHINGTON, DC – In one stunning move, Congress solved two crises plaguing America – a need for additional federal employees and a sinking pornography industry.
DEATH RAY AT CONSUMER ELECTRONICS SHOW
LAS VEGAS, NV – The Death Ray app has made its premiere at the popular Consumer Electronics Show amidst drama and fear.