TOKYO – A fishing boat off the coast of Japan was capsized by jellyfish!
NASRALLAH FISH
JERUSALEM – A fish invading the shores of Israel has been nicknamed after Hezbollah’s leader!
Animals
NEPENTHES ATTENBOROUGHII
MANILA – Scientists have discovered a rat-eating plant in the Philippines, and named it after Sir David Attenborough!
COCAINE FOUND IN FROZEN SHARKS
MEXICO CITY – The Mexican navy has discovered more than one ton of cocaine – in the bodies of frozen sharks!
NENUE FISH COUGHS UP GOLD WATCH
HONOLULU, HI – A Hawaiian resident picnicing on a beach caught a fish with a working watch in its belly!
ED ANGER SAYS: THE WHITE HOUSE HAS GONE TO THE DOGS!
I’m madder than a tomcat in a puppy mill! I hear the Communist-in-Chief got a new dog – and it’s already signed a deal to write a book!
WESTMINSTER DOG SHOW RIGGED
NEW YORK, NY – Accusations have been lodged that Mulrog aliens tried to rig the 2009 Westminster Dog Show.
GATOR STUCK IN MANHOLE
CAPE CORAL, FL – An alligator was found trapped in a manhole, and mischievous mutant Manigator claims he had nothing to do with it.
Couple Attacked by Goldfish!
Last month, following a lovely dinner at Japaneteria, David and Jane Bennett were celebrating their honeymoon in the middle of Weller Lagoon when David’s amorous advances became a little more than the boat could handle.