MIAMI – Newt Gingrich declared himself the winner of Florida and any reports contrary to that mean that Romney has stolen the election.

WASHINGTON – The White House has approved the redesign of U.S. currency. Barack Obama will be on the new dollar bill.

NEVADA – Prostitutes in Nevada are campaigning for Ron Paul and they are holding fundraising events at the Bunny Ranch.

BREAKING – WWN has learned that Newt Gingrich is going to announce a switch to the Democratic Party and is throwing his support behind Barack Obama.

WASHINGTON, DC – Sources close to Hillary Clinton say she will announce a run for President in 2012.

WASHINGTON – Obama is shaking up his White House staff and wants an “Alice In Wonderland” theme for his re-election year.

WASHINGTON – There are Beltway rumors that President Obama is losing his hearing from a rare auditory disease.

Mexico’s Grand Warlock predicted US President Barack Obama would fail to win re-election in 2012.

DES MOINES – Aliens have been spotted around Ron Paul in Iowa. Could they be supporters?

WASHINGTON – Sources say President Obama is making Hillary Clinton his Vice President and Joe Biden will be the new Secretary of State.