…sort of.
What if I told you there’s an inter-dimensional co-species living in plain sight among us? Creatures that
went unknown and unnoticed until the early 1800s. You know when you see something in the corner of
your eye that darts away before you can catch a glimpse? Some attribute that to ghosts. Others say it’s
Shadow People. They’re all correct, of course. But not always.
What is a co-species?
Without getting into the complexities of quantum entanglement, what Albert Einstein described as
“spooky action at a distance,” these creatures—known as Blurs—exist in multiple dimensions at once.
A Blur’s natural state is exactly as their name implies: a blur. But when any creature looks directly at
them it triggers a highly evolved camouflage mechanism that causes the Blur to become the species
observing it. In our dimension, they look human. Because they are. If only for a fleeting moment.
That’s what makes them a co-species.
Outside of our field of vision, they revert to their natural state—a jumbled coexistence somewhere
between the reality, we live in and every other dimension they inhabit.
Outside of our field of vision they revert to their natural state—a jumbled coexistence somewhere between the reality we live in and every other dimension they inhabit.
“Unknown and unnoticed until the early 1800s.” What changed?
The invention of photography in 1826. That’s what. As it turns out, photography circumvents the Blur’s camouflage mechanism and can capture them in their natural state. Because technically, a person is not observing them. A camera is.
Browse any random box of old photographs—or scroll through the pics on your camera roll. It won’t take long until you find one of our inter-dimensional friends lurking in the background. They’ll be out of focus. Smeared but not indistinguishable. What you assume is someone passing too quickly through the background of your vacation selfie is, more than likely, a Blur.
Are photographs the ONLY way to spot a Blur?
The good news is, it’s not impossible to spot a Blur in human form. Keep in mind they’re only human while you observe them. Look away even for a moment and they’ll be gone. But once you know the signs, they’re not that hard to spot.
Here’s what to look for when you encounter a “human” you think might be a Blur.
- They are uncomfortable being looked at directly.
Eye contact makes Blurs intensely uncomfortable, like garlic to a vampire or good life choices to Megan Fox. Strangers who avoid eye contact as you pass in the street, for example? There’s a good chance they’re a Blur. That quiet person on the train who can’t seem to take their eyes off the floor? Very likely a Blur.
2. They speak only in short phrases.
Blurs don’t actually speak human languages. Instead, they’re capable of extremely advanced mimicry. Try to engage a Blur in small talk and you’ll get little more than grunts for your efforts. Their replies may be nonsensical, seemingly disconnected from the actual conversation. People who say “You too.” when their waiter says “Enjoy your meal,” for example? Prime candidates. Encounters can be jarring, even a bit unsettling. It’s an experience described as “like sharing a short elevator ride with Gary Bussey.”
3. They are extremely camera-shy.
In rare instances Blurs can assimilate entirely into human culture, mastering our mannerisms and speech almost completely. Think about it. Everybody knows someone who always avoids cameras, saying things like “I hate having my picture taken!” Or, “I’m not photogenic!”
That person is probably a Blur attempting to live among us.
What to do if you think you’ve encountered a Blur
Snap a picture if you can. But remember, Blurs don’t like being photographed and can sometimes react violently. Like Kanye (or, “Ye” I guess we should say) with the paparazzi. So exercise extreme caution.
Why are they here? What do they want?
Wild theories abound. Some think Blurs are scouts gathering intelligence for a looming inter-dimensional invasion. Others are convinced Blurs are little more than participants in some type of reality show, like a multiverse version of Naked and Afraid.
No matter why you may think they’re here, we need to generate awareness at the very highest levels if we’re ever going to understand The Blurs true purpose. That’s why I urge you to send photographic evidence of any Blurs you can find—every out-of-focus picture—to your local congresspeople along with a link to this article. Use this as an opportunity to educate them on the existence of Blurs and maybe share your theories about why they’re here.
While you’re at it, go ahead and let your representative know what you think about the job they’ve been doing, too. If you like what’s happening, tell them. If not, here’s your chance to be honest. This, and the mid-term elections, of course.
So get out there and vote, y’all!
Because your vote could be the deciding factor in revealing The Blurs true purpose—and our own, for that matter. Until next time fellow weirdos. Flip. Out.
I guess I’m a blur, you moron.