WASHINGTON, DC – In an interview Monday, President Barack Obama restated his promise to create 600,000 new jobs by the end of summer. The President is using Craigslist to fill the positions.
Monday evening dozens of posts went up on the popular site Craigslist advertising for jobs to be filled. One telling post sent the call out for 5,000 gardeners in the Washington DC area. Similar posts on Craigslist across the country requested 10,000 maids, 15,000 janitors, 5,000 laundry ladies, and 30,000 old-timey news boys to be stationed in major cities around the country to sell papers and shout headlines on street corners.
White House aides refuse to give specifics on what the employees would do once hired, saying only, “We’ll find something for them.” Various odd jobs around the DC area will be used to help the President fill out his workforce and keep his promises. Insiders suggest that the White House will finally get the white picket fence, and fix the leak in the garage that they have been meaning to get around to.
Other, more discreet, posts that connect to the White House accounts call for “Economists who can fix this mess,” “Anyone willing to pimp-slap Sean Hannity,” and “a Soda Jerk who can pass a Secret Service background check.”