The U.S. Treasury officials made a big announcement today: China Buys Mount Rushmore. A Chinese investment firm, Jiang Yu Woo, made the purchase. The company told Weekly World News that the deal closed today. Specific details of the agreement have not yet been released. However, it is rumored to be similar to a deal in … READ MORE
Market Madness CONTINUES AT CONVENIENCE STORES! Over this past week, online communities have demonstrated that they can disrupt the stock market, making certain stock prices soar way above their presumed value. Companies like Gamestop and AMC, buoyed by online campaigns, demonstrated “meme-stock” growth that baffled long-time market watchers and even led to the suspension of … READ MORE
AND HE HATES “MEANIES!” While “adults” across the nation play a political game of “Mad Libs” concerning election fraud, the small town of Facepalms, Florida, is actually prosecuting a proven case; a case that led to the appointment of a 5-year-old judge, Peter “Puck” Smezworthy. Harry Towers, the Mayor of Facepalms, laughs over it all. … READ MORE
Much to the shock of the financial world, it has been discovered the Yeti are behind the current worldthe explosion in cryptocurrencies. Jeffrey Ness is the current head of the Federal Reserve Board. He noted, “It shocking. It is really puttingthe crypto into cryptocurrency. We had no idea. However, it is not illegal for the … READ MORE
Elected by a landslide But now the Loch Ness monster has been discovered in a different place entirely—the US Congress. Scientists have revealed that Eric Golladay (R-ID), a first-term Congressman who was elected in a landslide, is actually the famous Loch Ness monster. “He was wearing a hat, so at first it wasn’t clear,” said Lucille Jenkins, a researcher. “And his … READ MORE
DENVER, CO: Earlier this week, Ben Settle, the author of the wildly popular horror novels (Zombie Cop, Vampire Apocalypse, Demon Crossfire, Evil Child, Werewolf Bastard, Hell’s Frankenstein, Lucifer’s Favorite) was kidnapped by four rabid teenage fans at a social-distanced book signing. On Saturday, January 9th, the four teenagers – Tyler Vinson, Jackie Ballard, Casey Yon, … READ MORE
LOS ANGELES, CA – A highly controversial book explaining how to put curses on your enemies is soon to be reprinted. The original book was published in 2013 It tells you how to harness your dark powers in four easy steps! “All you have to do,” says famed sorcerer and occult author Damien Mulkrin, “is … READ MORE
Alien abductions can be quite traumatic. But they don’t have to be. These tips, gathered over decades of WWN research and personal experience, will help make your next close encounter feel less like an alien invasion—for you and for the advanced beings who plucked you from the cornfield. Leave the tinfoil hats at home If … READ MORE
SHE BLAMES DATING APP Like many single people, Sadie Lamar’s life was turned upside down because of the pandemic, but she never thought that she’d be stalked through NYC by a Russian nuclear submarine. Sadie, identifying herself as a part-time pole-dancer but a full-time entrepreneur, blames herself. Lonely, she decided to turn to the Internet … READ MORE
Vice President Mike Pence is a cyborg and we’ve got the photograph that proves it. The stark, black-and-white picture clearly shows Pence with the back of his head peeled back, revealing a hidden matrix of wires, circuit boards and chips that enable him to move, speak and think almost as if he were human. But … READ MORE