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Dr. Magnus Bell

CICADAS WILL OVERRUN D.C.!

May 2, 2021April 9, 2021 by Dr. Magnus Bell

LOBBYISTS CRY FOUL! In a once in a 17-year event, Cicadas will emerge from their underground nests across the nation. Thisincludes the District of Columbia. Lobbyists are panicking. “This could … READ MORE

Categories Headlines Tags D.C.

THE YETI IS BEHIND CRYPTOCURRENCY

January 29, 2021January 25, 2021 by Dr. Magnus Bell

Much to the shock of the financial world, it has been discovered the Yeti are behind the current worldthe explosion in cryptocurrencies. Jeffrey Ness is the current head of the … READ MORE

Categories Headlines, Mutants Tags crypto, cryptocurrency, yeti

BILL GATES REJECTED BY THE ILLUMINATI!

December 17, 2020 by Dr. Magnus Bell

The secretive organization, The Illuminati, has refused admission to billionaire philanthropist Bill Gates Some feel the organization is completely fictional but others believe the Illuminati controls all media except the … READ MORE

Categories Headlines Tags bill gates

PROFESSORS TO GET TENURE INTO THE AFTERLIFE!

September 28, 2020September 28, 2020 by Dr. Magnus Bell

TENURE LOCKED IN FOR ETERNITY Tenure gives professors the right to teach and do research for their entire lives. Now, thanks to a surprise ruling from the Illinois Board of … READ MORE

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GREATEST COVERS! 1st PRINT EDITION IN 15 YEARS! GET ‘EM WHILE THEY LAST!

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