I’m madder than a tomcat with his tail in a light socket over the bleeding-heart demand to outlaw capital punishment.
ANN COULTER 1, NBC 0
I’m madder than a bulimic with a broken finger over this whole Ann Coulter business.
Opinion
BOYCOTT COMMIE-SOTA
I’m madder than Jesse Ventura with a busted microphone about that idiot Al Franken. It’s bad enough America picked a commie President with a crazy name, but now Minnesota went and made some potty mouth “comedian” a senator.
ED ANGER RETURNS
My America, the America I know and love has been in a coma. For too long it has been asleep at the wheel… the wheel of a foreign-made car. It’s time to wake up and tell the rest of the world to GET OFF OUR LAWN!!!
OBAMA-TOSE! ED ANGER CRITICAL
Legendary Weekly World News columnist Ed Anger has suffered a debilitating break down brought on by the election results.
GALS SHOULDN'T BE PUMPING IRON
I’m madder than a weightlifter with a slippery barbell over all these women bodybuilders I’m seeing nowadays.
RAISE THE SPEED LIMIT TO 100 MPH
I’m madder than Richard Petty with a flat tire over all the talk about lowering the speed limit on the U.S. highways. Just a few years ago we were able to move the speed limit up to 70 m.p.h. but now some Nervous Nellies want to push it back to 55 m.p.h.
QUIT BEING A SISSY AND GET RUDE
I’m madder than chair-tossing hoops coach Bobby Knight with road rage about a new survey I just read saying that Americans are too rude!
LYING & CHEATING MADE AMERICA GREAT
I’m madder than a schoolteacher with a rotten apple over the big hubbub about kids cheating in school. A government study that just came out says 70 percent – seven of 10 – high school students fessed up that they cheat on tests. Thank heavens, I say!
INTERNET SPAMMERS ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!
I’m madder than a rooster in an empty hen house at Internet spammers and I won’t take it anymore. Those creeps clutter up my e-mail with their junk, everything from penis enlargement pills to some lady telling me she’ll give me a million dollars if I’ll help her get her money out of Africa.