Bigfoot

BIGFINGERS!

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New ape species discovered in Colorado. LAKE COUNTY, CO – After hiking to the summit of Mount Elbert, zoologist Jeff Sanders knew his career was made when he saw a very unusual primate overturning large stones, looking for grubs to eat. “The creature was about three feet tall,” said Sanders. “It had a humanoid face … READ MORE

BIGFOOT HOOKER TELLS ALL

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WASHINGTON, DC – The latest Washington sex scandal makes the Presidential Impeachment trial look like an innocent game of spin the bottle.  At least 46 top politicians – including Sen. Bob Menendez, Sen Lindsay Grahan, and Congresswoman Lucy Williams – have reportedly had flings with the world’s first Bigfoot hooker! And shockingly, the sexy Sasquatch, … READ MORE

BAT BOY PICKS BIGFOOT FOR RUNNING MATE!

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ANCHORAGE, AL – Bat Boy has decided on his 2020 running mate. After careful consideration, he has chosen Bigfoot to join him in his independent run for The White House! Bat Boy/Bigfoot 2020! After weeks of discussions with some of today’s biggest political consultants -David Axelrod, Karl Rove, Steve Bannon, Van Jones and Bill Clinton … READ MORE

BIGFOOT HAS A TWIN BROTHER!

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Woodbeast came out to support Bigfoot’s Vice Presidential campaign in 2020. SUNBURY, PA – Local residents have always whispered about Bigfoot sightings, but they picked up considerably over the course of 2019. “It used to be once or twice a year,” said Jason Eckhart, who owns a hardware store. “Then it was once or twice a month. … READ MORE

BIGFOOT BACK IN THE WOODS!

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ANCHORAGE, AK – Bigfoot was spotted in the woods outside the city after leaving St. Elias Specialty Hospital. Bigfoot was taken to the hospital a month ago with a torn ACL. Bigfoot underwent a nine-hour surgery. Doctors wanted the beast to make a full recovery, but it was a difficult procedure. “Needless to say, we … READ MORE

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