BIGFOOT BACK IN THE WOODS!

ANCHORAGE, AK – Bigfoot was spotted in the woods outside the city after leaving St. Elias Specialty Hospital. Bigfoot was taken to the hospital a month ago with a torn ACL.

Bigfoot underwent a nine-hour surgery. Doctors wanted the beast to make a full recovery, but it was a difficult procedure. “Needless to say, we had never performed an operation on a Bigfoot before,” said Doctor Rodney Ripperton of St. Elias. “We had a team of three orthopedic surgeons, five other surgeons, a zoologist and a hypnotist, all on hand.” When WWN asked why they needed a hypnotist Dr. Ripperton told us that Bigfoot doesn’t respond very well to anesthesia, but “for some reason is very susceptible to hypnosis.”

The surgery was a success, but Bigfoot was very restless after the surgery. Sarah Palin, who recently announced her divorce to her longtime husband, Todd, came to visit Bigfoot.

“Former Governor Palin was with him for an hour and we could tell they hit it off,” said Nurse Talmadge, who was with Bigfoot for five days. “She fell in love with him. And he seemed smitten with her.”

After ten days, Bigfoot was scheduled to go to a rehab clinic to work on his knee, but he refused to go. “He didn’t want to be indoors any longer. He was getting a bit violent,” Nurse Talmadge told WWN.

BIGFOOT WON’T GO TO REHAB

Sarah Palin, who stayed in Bigfoot’s room, tried to convince him to go to rehab, but he said – “na, na, na!”

Bigfoot busted out of the hospital and headed for the woods. Sarah ran after him, but he pushed her to the ground. Apparently, he didn’t want anything more to do with her.

Authorities lost track of Bigfoot, but WWN learned just today that he is back in the woods and on the mend from his surgery. Sarah Palin, however, has not recovered from her affair with Bigfoot. Those close to her, say she is devastated.

WWN will keep close tabs on this story and report on Bigfoot’s healing process.