Crop Circles are Alien Graffiti!
“After spending decades trying to decipher crop circles, we have found they are nothing more than obscenity-laced insults”
Aliens
Sarah Palien?
Following Sarah Palin’s emergence on the national stage, the blogosphere lit up with reports that Governor Palin does not actually hail from Wasilla, Alaska but from a planet known as Wazeela.
The tiny planet, which is located some 37,000 miles due east from the Sun, is known to be rich with fossil fuels that lie beneath snow-capped peaks.
Internet reports also cited the particularly short 5-month gestation period of Wazeela females as proof that Palin was, in fact, a Palien.
An E.T. Gobbled my Laundry
A 54-year-old waitress says a space alien ate two washer loads of clothes right off her line!
Aliens Attempted to Abduct a Bigfoot!
“They must have been strong aliens because that Bigfoot must have weighed at least 500 pounds,” said Jeffrey Antis.
UFO ALIEN TURNS HEADS IN MINNESOTA
Without warning, the UFO Alien arrived in Minnesota today, turning the heads of Republicans and Democrats alike.
Some commentators could not help but notice that the UFO Alien and Cindy McCain possessed similar headshapes.
Many insiders felt that a meeting of the minds between Cindy McCain and the UFO Alien was imminent and could take place prior to her address to the convention.
Alien Dentistry!
Orthodontist Gerald Fixit was sleeping soundly when he was abruptly awakened by a rumbling. “My house started to shake,” said Fixit. “There were intense, bright lights shining into my window, blinding me.
Middle East Aliens!
“No one would’ve believed that beneath a Middle Eastern desert extraterrestrials were conducting a vast, worldwide surveillance operation,” Israeli Army Major Joseph Dov revealed to Weekly World News. “That is, until we found them!”
Global Cooling on Pluto?
Late last week, NASA received a desperate — and surprise — SOS from the planet Pluto. “They wanted us to send heat lamps immediately,” explained Communications Officer Sunny Cavalier. “They need them to combat global cooling.
Milo de Venus?
Beach goers were startled last Sunday when a sonic boom erupted over this seaside community.