CHICAGO: MANDATORY GUN OWNERSHIP
Chicago passed a law requiring each household to own a gun as a way to keep crime down.
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JUSTIN BIEBER’S MONKEY MURDERED
Justin Bieber’s monkey was murdered in Germany. Drake Bell is a suspect.
OBAMA MAKES APRIL 1st “OPEN BORDERS DAY”
President Obama announced that for today only – the borders to the U.S. will be open. All are welcome!
LENO DECLARES WAR ON FALLON
Jay Leno reportedly vows to stop Jimmy Fallon from taking over The Tonight Show. By any means necessary.
OBAMA’S NCAA BRACKET
President Obama spent ten days picking out his 2013 NCAA Bracket. He selected Indiana as the winner.
LINDSEY VONN PREGNANT WITH TIGER WOODS’ BABY
Lindsey Vonn announced today that she is dating Tiger Woods. WWN has learned that she is pregnant as well.
PRESIDENT OBAMA PLAYS SATAN IN “THE BIBLE” MINI-SERIES
The White House reportedly confirmed that President Obama played Satan in last night’s episode of “The Bible.”
ST. PATRICK’S DAY FOLLIES – 12 PHOTOS
St. Patrick’s Day brings out the best in people – or does it? Weekly World News has picked out some St. Patty’s Day photos from across the internet. Which one should win the Golden Shillelagh? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12.
JUSTIN BIEBER MUST WEAR GAS MASK FOR REST OF HIS LIFE
Doctors told Justin Bieber he will have to wear a gas mask for the rest of his life.