“SANTA’S CRUEL AND MEAN,” DECLARES ONE ANTI-TINSEL TERRORIST! It’s twenty-one degrees outside the cab of this BearCat SWAT vehicle. The wind shrieks and the waves of rain pummeling the cab are slowly turning into torrents of ice…soon to be snow – a lot of it. The truck makes its way through the maelstrom. It’s thirty … READ MORE
“YOU SAW HER. YOU GOT HER. NOW, WHAT?” Not satisfied with delivering such cultural milestones as roller boogie, New Age cults, the Marvel Universe and Ronald Reagan to the world, California has now rolled out a new trend that’s spreading like wildfire: Monster Marriage Counseling. Started by Dr. Hans Zupp, the counseling service now has … READ MORE
…sort of. What if I told you there’s an inter-dimensional co-species living in plain sight among us? Creatures thatwent unknown and unnoticed until the early 1800s. You know when you see something in the corner ofyour eye that darts away before you can catch a glimpse? Some attribute that to ghosts. Others say it’sShadow People. … READ MORE
“AFTER ABOUT SIXTEEN FLUSHES AND THE TOILET SPITTING UP VIKINGS, I STARTED TO GET SUSPICIOUS,” SAYS OWNER. The hand is extended, trembling above the lever. Slowly it grips the wooden extension. A voice asks, “Are you ready?” This WEEKLY WORLD NEWS reporter nods. WWN knows that this lever, when pushed, will create a time/space vortex … READ MORE
Omaha – The nation’s largest union for train robbers announced that they would not cross the picket lines in support of railroad workers currently on strike against the nation’s largest freight carriers. “They say there is no honor among thieves, and that there are no lines we will not cross, but that is not true,” … READ MORE
HAIRLESS HAWAIIAN GIANT TERRORIZES LOCAL FISHERMAN HONOLULU, HI — Weekly World News has tracked many bizarre creatures over the years, from Bat Boy to Bigfoot. But none has been quite so unusual as the lonely creature that roams these beautiful South Pacific beaches at night, ABOMINABLE BEACHMAN! “He’s a beachcomber you don’t want to meet,” … READ MORE
Religious Groups Fight for Ownership MOAB, UTAH — The lost Sandals of Jesus, missing for over 2,000 years, have been found! An intrepid Vatican treasure hunter stunned every biblical when he found them in Utah! Hundreds of devout pilgrims are flocking to see the holy relics in Utah. Many Utah citizens have claimed that after … READ MORE
“THE PENTAGON WANTS TO CREATE A BATTALION OF HEROES!” The U.S. Army War College in Carlisle, PA, has strongly advised the Pentagon to create hundreds or even thousands of Bat Boy clones to serve in ALL branches of the military. If the bold but controversial plan is enacted, War college analysts are convinced the army … READ MORE
…AND WILL COME TO A HALT IN 3 YEARS, WARN SCIENTISTS ANCHORAGE, ALASKA — Worried scientists say they have detected a significant slowing of our planet’s rotation — and predict the Earth will stop spinning altogether in as little as three years! The slowdown will lead to steadily longer days and nights and could cause … READ MORE
