Former President Donald Trump surprised insiders today by announcing that he will not run for president in 2024. Instead, he declared that he’s entering the ring to lead the 2024 insurrection. At one of his patented rallies in Podunk, South Dakota, in front of a worshipful audience, Trump stunned the crowd when he said, “I … READ MORE
800-LB FIGURE COMES TO LIFE AND DELIVERS MESSAGE FROM GOD TO TRUE BELIEVERS. BALLINSPITTLE, IRELAND — Pilgrims are flocking to the local Grotto of the Virgin Mary. Witnesses say a marble statue of the Holy Mother moves and talks like a living being! And proof of the miraculous sightings has been provided by a photographer … READ MORE
Dwayne Stafford has an incredible story. Just don’t ask him to tell it. That’s because Stafford may be the most boring person in the world. Fortunately for Stafford, that’s been working in his favor. Police investigations have declared him a ‘Person of Interest’ in over 100 cases, but he’s been released each time, Captain Derek … READ MORE
Will Join Forces with Teddy Roosevelt and Run For President! Scores of Americans assembled in Chicago on Friday night to express their support for the theory that Betty White, the actress who died late last year at the age of 99, would return and join forces with a mummified Theodore Roosevelt to run for president. … READ MORE
ALBANY, NY — A shapely female alien accused former NY Governor, Andrew Cuomo, of groping her breasts. And the bizarre incident nearly sparked an interstellar war! That is the mind-boggling claim of a source close to the District Attorney for the state of New York, who uncovered evidence of the alleged 2021 encounter. She presented … READ MORE
STRIPPER BAKED IN CAKE CAUSES HAVOC AT BACHELOR’S PARTY AND BAR MITZVAH “It just wasn’t Kosher!’ declares Bar Mitzvah boy’s Mom. Police descended upon Cross-Eyed Betty’s Bakery in Brooklyn today after two mishandled orders resulted in a stripper being baked into a six-foot cake and delivered to a Long Island bar mitzvah while a much … READ MORE