PARIS – Former French president Jacques Chirac was rushed to the hospital this week after being attacked by his white Maltese poodle, Sumo.
TopStory
ABE WAS A BABE
LEXINGTON, KY – Despite repeated comparisons, Abraham Lincoln was more different from Barack Obama than you ever could have imagined.
BUSH’S NOTE TO OBAMA
WASHINGTON, DC – Continuing the tradition, outgoing President Bush left a personal note to the new President Obama in the Oval Office.
BAT BOY CRASHES INAUGURAL BALL
WASHINGTON, DC – Bat Boy and Obatma brought their usual mischief to President Obama’s inaugural celebration.
KELLI MCCARTY EMBARRASSES UNIVERSE
WICHITA, KS – Former Miss Universe finalist Kelli McCarty has come under fire this week as news of her latest career move has riled some intergalactic feathers.
SECRETS OF CHENEY’S SAFE REVEALED
WASHINGTON, DC – Handymen accidentally cracked open the man-sized safe of exiting Vice President Dick Cheney while transferring his effects.
10 SCI-FI TRAILERS OF 2009
Mygar, the universe’s top expert on trailer dissection, presents a preview of 10 science fiction films being released in 2009.
ALIENS CLEAR OUT CIRCUIT CITY
RICHMOND, VA – After filing for bankruptcy and failing to find a buyer, Circuit City began it’s liquidation sale. But the company could not have expected who would turn up.
ARREST IN PEANUT BUTTER SALMONELLA OUTBREAK
NEW YORK, NY – Mr. Peanut was taken into custody this morning at his Upper West Side home.