RICHMOND, VA – After filing for bankruptcy and failing to find a buyer, Circuit City began it’s liquidation sale. But the company could not have expected who would turn up.
On January 17, Circuit City began liquidating its stock, with stores offering flat-screen TVs, DVDs and other items anywhere from 10%-30% off. Shoppers crowded in to snap up any deals they could find. But like last year’s Black Friday sales, human customers were dismayed to find most of the products had already been bought by aliens!
A drastic increase in UFO sightings occurred as extraterrestrial consumers descended on Circuit City outlets across the country. While they attempted to blend in with human clothing, many cashiers reported accepting cash from eight-fingered hands and fluorescent tentacles.
Weekly World News reporters caught up with a few alien shoppers to ask why they were interested in human technology? Xoron from a Boron Nebulae let out a polyphonic laugh: “Oh it’s so obsolete it’s pathetic! But that’s why it’s so cute. We like to give Earth technology as gag gifts.”
Several Martians and Plutonians nearby confirmed this, stating their cultures had similar customs. K! of Pluto’s moon Charon explained, “I once gave one of your flat-screen TVs to my boss for his birthday. He laughed so hard! I mean, an intelligent being entertained by something in only two dimensions?!” Other poorly disguised aliens in line made noises that were apparently laughter.