Aliens
ALIENS MAKING DEPOSITS IN OUR SPERM BANKS!
BONN, GERMANY — Cagey Gootans are making donations to hundreds of unsuspecting sperm banks here on Earth. It’s a sinister scheme to conquer our planet without ever firing a shot! That chilling revelation was made by famed physicist and UFO researcher Dr. Gerhard Dietzer. He says that the evil Gootans hope to infiltrate our population. … READ MORE
IS YOUR SPOUSE AN ALIEN?
10 WAYS TO TELL IF YOU HAVE AN EXTRATERRESTRIAL IN YOUR HOME Many top scientists believe that aliens live secretly among us. The sneaking intergalactic travelers often pose as our friends, neighbors, and co-workers while they learn the ways of Earth. But how can you tell invading aliens from real humans? Weekly World News has … READ MORE
ALIEN ORTHODONTIST RETURNS HOME SAFELY!
PIERRE, S.D. — Orthodontist Gerry Cawley was in a deep sleeping when he was startled awakened by a rumbling. “My house started to shake,” said Cawley. “There were intense, bright lights shining into my window, blinding me. Suddenly one of those lights surrounded me and I was lifted into the air.” That’s when I passed … READ MORE
ALIEN SPY CALLS COPS ON NOSEY HUMAN NEIGHBOR
“SHE’S BLOWING MY COVER!” HE EXCLAIMS Professor Emir Zolton has a problem, actually two: he’s an alien spy from the planet Javlon and he has a neighbor who won’t leave him alone. “She’s blowing my cover,” he exclaims. “I’ve taken out a restraining order and the police have been very sympathetic but this woman can … READ MORE
ALIEN LANDS IN VERMONT
Gets Too Fat To Fly Home The quiet town of Newport, Vermont didn’t expect a visit from extraterrestrial life this summer but that’s exactlywhat it got on a humid afternoon in June. Shocked commuters watched as a small spacecraft touched down near the gas station on Sias Avenue around 2pm. The pilot, a tiny grey … READ MORE
5 THINGS TO AVOID DURING An ALIEN ABDUCTION
Alien abductions can be quite traumatic. But they don’t have to be. These tips, gathered over decades of WWN research and personal experience, will help make your next close encounter feel less like an alien invasion—for you and for the advanced beings who plucked you from the cornfield. Leave the tinfoil hats at home If … READ MORE
ALIENS ABDUCT COUPLE, DON’T PROBE THEM!
“ON A CERTAIN LEVEL, I’M DISAPPOINTED,” SAYS MAN. It’s not very often that a civilian is invited into Groom Lake, which is the official title of Area 51. It’s the most restricted area in America. The only civilians allowed on base are those who have had an alien encounter or someone who had single-handedly thwarted … READ MORE
ALIENS ARE EVERYWHERE
Scientists Warn “The Invasion Already Happened!” In movies, aliens are usually depicted as humanoid creatures with smooth features and large eyes. But Howard T. Houseplant, an astronomer and parapsychologist with the Department Of Distant Phenomena, says that the truth is far more interesting. “Aliens are everywhere,” he said. “I run a lab where we sample … READ MORE
BIGFOOT ACCEPTS! BAT BOY COMMITS TO HIS VP PICK.
BAT BOY 2020 CAMPAIGN READY TO TAKE ON TRUMP AND BIDEN! WASHINGTON, DC. – At a press conference at the Lincoln Memorial, Bat Boy announced that Bigfoot will be his 2020 Vice Presidential.running mate! Bat Boy had originally planned on selecting Bigfoot, but then Bigfoot went missing for several month. There was a lot of … READ MORE