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IS YOUR SPOUSE AN ALIEN?

10 WAYS TO TELL IF YOU HAVE AN EXTRATERRESTRIAL IN YOUR HOME

Many top scientists believe that aliens live secretly among us. The sneaking intergalactic travelers often pose as our friends, neighbors, and co-workers while they learn the ways of Earth. But how can you tell invading aliens from real humans?

Weekly World News has interviewed dozens of experts and conducted exhaustive research to bring you this list of the top ten ways to recognizes aliens in your midst.

  1. ALIENS often wear huge sunglasses to hide their eyes. Most aliens have large, staring eyes that are hard to conceal. Sunglasses help them appear more normal. So if your spouse is wearing sunglasses inside all the time, that might be a clue.
  2. ALIENS have cold and clammy skin. Many aliens wear synthetic skin in order to pass themselves off as human. . It’s never as warm as real skin, and it often feels “slimy” to the touch.
  3. THEY SMELL. Aliens use all manner of deodorants, perfumes, and lotions to disguise their natural scent, which is offensive to most humans.
  4. ALIENS are obsessed with technology. They spend hours on their cellphones— texting and sending emails. But they’re not conversing with anyone – they’re actually transmitting data they’ve accumulated back to their homeworld. Be suspiciousl if your spouse is spending an inordinate amount of time on their cellphones.
  5. ALIENS have strange bodily proportions. The newest breeds of aliens attempt to imitate human appearance — but they never quite get it right. They are like exaggerated ideas of human perfection. Their stomachs seem to be too flat, their chests too big, their faces wrinkle-free. Male aliens may seem to be chubby, but underneath there are six-pack abs — somewhere.
  6. ALIENS have strange diets. Aliens may not be able to digest most human foods. Because of this, they are limited in the types of foods they can eat and they may become vegetarian, vegan, or fruitarian. Watch out for spouses who eat a lot of melons — that’s an alien favorite.
  7. ALIENS dance in inhuman ways. Most alien species have a completely different physiology than ours. They have the ability to move their bodies to music in a way no ordinary human can, and this results in a dancing style that is quite breathtaking. MANY are known to twerk.
  8. ALIENS do not understand Earth’s sense of humor. Forget what you see in some films or TV. Aliens find it difficult to understand jokes, sarcasm, and general “kidding around.” Even a simple knock-knock joke can throw them completely off. They might laugh at inappropriate times like during a funeral, or a zoom meeting — or stare blankly at the funniest jokes. Remember, YOU have a great sense of humor. If your spouse isn’t laughing, they are probably an alien.
  9. ALIENS dress in oddly revealing clothes. Aliens find clothing irritates their flesh, so the less of it they wear, the more comfortable they are. They also like to keep their fake human skin exposed to air, to allow it to breathe.
  10. ALIENS ask hundreds of questions. Most aliens are on earth for research and they want to learn as much as possible about Earthlings. They’re like alien anthropologists, fascinated by human behavior and eager to study our cultures. So keep your eyes open if your spouse starts asking a lot of questions.

Next, Weekly World News will help you identify if your spouse is a Gootan or a Zeeban!

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20 thoughts on “IS YOUR SPOUSE AN ALIEN?”

  1. I find this very misleading. First, aliens aren’t real, and that’s fact. Second, any extraterrestrial life is very hard to find. I think no one would fall for this, but this is just so stupid.

    Reply
    • Correct, fellow human. Aliens are totally not here on Earth and you should stop looking for them.

    • Hello from Tromso Norway. 04.09-2021 IM A AILIEN, YES, NO JOKES,NO GIMMIKS.ITS A FACT.NOW,JUST NOW IN NORTH NORWAY THEY MILLITÆRY ARMY, MARINEJEGERE,TORPEDOBOUTS, ARE HERE…ALL COUST GAARDS NORWAY HAVE IN HERE JUST NOW!! ALL Cind off People SEE AILIENS, Police offisers sees them, all those guarding night shift see and telepatic talk whit them. Soldiers are on every mounten top looking after those drones all us sees . I HAVE MY PERSENOL DRONE RIGHT UPP IN THE HILL HERE YES, ITS AV KLAIMATERISERER SEG, SO I CAN TAKE PEOPLE I TRUST HELP ME . THISE IS OVAL SHAPE, HENGING CA 40 CM OBOVE THE GRASS, NO WINGS, SOUND, NOTHING. BUT IT LET U KNOW IF U START MOVING TO MY DRONE, THEN IT STRIKS BACK AT U. Call others in Tromsø, then u see im 100% trusverdig…… Its here, its now. Im a ailien. My skills goes looong way that noone could ever emagend….. yes greit. Love from Tromsø Norway. Liv is a ailien, for real..

  2. I’m an alien but I do not have clammy skin I have fur and a long bushy tail. I do not have large dtaring eyes. I do not wear clothes because I have fur. I do not have strange diets. I am a carnivore but I do not eat humans. I buy my meat at the local butcher shop. And… I am friendly.

    Reply
  3. Aliens have food in the form of pill form. From what I read, they love to mate with humans in order to expand their kind. They love to teach difficult subjects like math. They love to train humans to be better people. Look for the good aliens, the good aliens will be an asset to the Earth they try to help us they are better surgeons than we are. I suffer from lymphadema & arthritus if they were real their doctor could help me.

    Reply
  4. I used to glance at the paper at the grocery check out and even bought it a few times. Sadly, like just about everything else, the quality has dropped to zero with this stupid online version. It’s not funny. It seems the current generation of writers really has no clue about humor. Perhaps I can clue you in. The classic paper was funny because you could believe the unbelievable story was presented in a way that many people would take it seriously. Or else maybe the story actually had a grain of truth, but was exaggerated in some way. It was done in a very amusing sort of way. But your online version reads like some middle school kid wrote it. Anyway, I won’t waste any more of time. Five minutes was enough.

    Reply
  5. p.s. The original paper was funny because it had so many similarities to a more truthful tabloid. You lack the subtlety to understand that fine line drawn by the original. Cya

    Reply
  6. As an alien expert, I can confirm that this information is 100% correct . I love that you disproved the people who are not believers

    Reply
  7. Yes. Aliens are among us. There are also angels among us (the good and bad kind). I have had many encounters with different species of aliens. The aliens are telepathic or seem to know what will or has already happened in ‘time’. This puts us in very predictable circumstances. Outcomes can be controlled this way. There are 11 dimensions (check this out on YouTube) and, depending on your state of mind, we humans can travel to these other dimensions where strange encounters definitely take place. My experiences have been surreal, wonderful, and sometimes frightening. Yet, I always wake up in my original dimension and must shelve the strange events and meetings in my mind in order to function as the human that I am. They want knowledge. They know that our Creator exists because of the unexplained miracles that Jesus performs in our lives but they are still searching for Him. The reasons vary. Some want/need our help. Personally, I have trouble following through on any mission to learn from them or be of much help other than refusing to let go of my own faith in God and in my own identity. They have studied us. They use their intelligence scientifically. For example, they know certain pressure points of the body that respond to their touch. The lower back is where ‘they’ reach and rub. It subdues a person. It influences a person’s will. Strange…I know. One tiny example. Still trying to put the pieces together.

    Reply
  8. There are enough aliens where I live (Walnut Creek, California) who have been friendly enough over the last several months to share their dream with me–and they say it’s a dream many aliens still on their outer space planets share, similar to us earthlings praying for world peace. Their dream isn’t so realistic, but they view it as a significant mark of interplanetary success should it ever come to pass. They want to be the Halftime Extravaganza at the Super Bowl. Their ET dancing and songs, and even to do the commentary on television, and the live introductions. This, they believe, is realistic, while things like creating ways to swaps brains, or just attitudes, is science fiction-ish.
    Just saying . . .

    Reply

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