WASHINGTON, DC – President Obama’s teleprompter has started its own blog. Millions are anxious to hear the voice behind the voice of the President of the United States.
Reginald Cunningham III
WAL-MART GANG
PORT SAINT LUCIE, FL – Gangs are springing up in Wal-Marts around the country, but shoppers continue to risk it in search of good deals.
CHARLES GRASSLEY CONFRONTS AIG EXECS
NEW YORK, NY – AIG executives are leaving the planet to avoid paying back bonuses, but Charles Grassley won’t let that stop him from getting justice.
ST. PATRICK’S DAY ARREST
BOSTON, MA – Customs officials have seized 14 kilos of shamrock seeds at Dulles Airport. The seeds would have grown 38 kilos of “Lucky Green” with a street value of $150,000.
iPHONE 3.0 APPS
SAN DIEGO, CA – Apple is set to give its popular iPhone a facelift. On March 17th the company will premiere the new iPhone 3.0 operating system and a host of new applications.
BRISTOL PALIN, LEVI JOHNSTON SPLIT
FORT MYERS, FL – Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin, daughter of Governor Sarah Palin, have broken up. Now Bristol has been spotted with notorious ex-con Manigator.
OBAMA APPOINTEE CURSE
WASHINGTON, DC – Charles Freeman has withdrawn from consideration as National Intelligence Chair. Another appointee is claimed by the Obama Curse.
CHINESE VESSELS HARRASS U.S. NAVY SHIP
PACIFIC OCEAN – Chinese Naval ships surrounded and harassed a US ship in international waters off the coast of China this Sunday.
SARAH SILVERMAN AND JIMMY KIMMEL SPLIT AGAIN
LOS ANGELES, CA – Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel have split up again. After rekindling their five year relationship for a few months, they broke up this weekend. Silverman admitted to having a torrid affair with Jonah Hill.