WASHINGTON D.C. – Senator Evan Bayh will not seek re-election this year. Citing an overly partisan climate in Washington he has decided to return to his home planet!
Reginald Cunningham III
DEBRA MEDINA
HOUSTON, TX – Debra Medina self destructs on the Glenn Beck show. Glenn Beck destructs right back.
YETIS ON EAST COAST
WASHINGTON D.C. – Half of America declared a Snow Day on Wednesday. Yetis were spotted all along the east coast.
PRESIDENTIAL RECESS APPOINTMENTS
WASHINGTON D.C. – President Barack Obama made an announcement Tuesday that if Republicans continue to block all legislation, he will seek punitive action.
BETTY WHITE SEX SCANDAL
HOLLYWOOD, CA – A new scandal has rocked Hollywood. Betty White had sex with all three Jonas Brothers!
PALIN CAUGHT CHEATING
NASHVILLE, TN – Sarah Palin caught cheating at the keynote address at the Tea Party convention. Incident will go on her permanent record.
TAYLOR SWIFT HOSTAGE CRISIS
BURBANK, CA – Taylor Swift and her Label have been working overtime defending her lackluster performance at the Grammys.
SCOTT BROWN INAUGURATION
WASHINGTON, DC – Scott Brown will be sworn in today, ahead of schedule. CSPAN is expecting the sexiest Senate inauguration ever!
GOP BELIEFS
WASHINGTON D.C. – According to a new poll a majority of the GOP thinks that President Obama is a racist, socialist, and non-US citizen. Their other beliefs will shock you!
JERSEY SHORE SECOND SEASON
SEASIDE HEIGHTS, NJ – Jersey Shore is being brought back for a second season. The Pope declares Snooki Polizzi the Patron Saint of the Jersey Shoreline.