BONN, GERMANY – Prostitutes in this city now have to “feed the meter” if they want to walk the streets.

VANCOUVER, BC – A human foot has washed up in Vancouver — the eighth such grisly find the last four years.

HOLLYWOOD – Kim Kardashian will have to come up with $30 million if she wants to buy back her sex tape.

MIAMI – The TSA caught a man with snakes in a pants.

HOLLYWOOD – Lindsay Lohan tweeted Chris Brown asking to hook-up. They did. And now they’re a couple.

Mental illnesses including depression and post-traumatic stress have increased as a result of climate change.

NEW YORK, NY – AOL has put The Huffington Post up for sale. They bought it for $315 million in February.

LOS ANGELES – Tupac’s old crew confirmed today that they smoked his ashes.

WASHINGTON – The White House is pushing through a bill that will give Affirmative Action benefits to ugly people.

CAPE CANAVERAL, FL — Russia had a launch accident that prevents them from going to the Space Station – leaving the astronauts stranded.