MIAMI – The TSA caught a man with snakes in a pants.
Seven snakes to be exact.  And three tortoises.
Guy is a reptile lover.  Literally.
Using a body scanner, TSA officers in Miami spotted the reptiles stuffed inside nylon bags concealed inside pants of the unidentified man.  He was trying to get through a checkpoint on his way to Brazil on TAM Airlines, TSA spokesman Jonathon Allen said Monday.

U.S. Department of Fish and Wildlife officers took custody of the critters and arrested the passenger.  A rape kit was brought in to test the snakes.
The man had “no comment” about the snakes.  But he did say they “felt good” in his pants.  “They keep me happy,” the man said.  He explained that he always has snakes in his pants and he didn’t “think twice” about taking them out for the TSA.
“I like having a multiple snakes in my pants.  It’s my right to keep my snakes wherever I want to keep them.”
This isn’t the first time somebody’s tried to smuggle snakes on a plane. Back in 2007, when wearing snakes on your feet was all the rage, a TSA agent found a boa constrictor inside some guy’s shoe.

For the record, the female TSA agent was not impressed with the man’s trouser snakes – the reptile kind, of course.

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