HOW TO TALK TO TIME-TRAVELERS
Are you nervous about talking to time-travelers? Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered! Here are some tips for making small talk with these mysterious beings from the past and future: AND MORE TIPS FOR CHATTING WITH YOUR TIME-TRAVELING FRIENDS 6. Don’t ask about the future. Time travelers are sworn to secrecy about the events of … READ MORE
ANTI-CHRISTMAS CULT BUSTED IN BUFFALO!
“SANTA’S CRUEL AND MEAN,” DECLARES ONE ANTI-TINSEL TERRORIST! It’s twenty-one degrees outside the cab of this BearCat SWAT vehicle. The wind shrieks and the waves of rain pummeling the cab are slowly turning into torrents of ice…soon to be snow – a lot of it. The truck makes its way through the maelstrom. It’s thirty … READ MORE
IN HOLLYWOOD, MONSTER MARRIAGE COUNSELING IS THE NEW “TREND!”
“YOU SAW HER. YOU GOT HER. NOW, WHAT?” Not satisfied with delivering such cultural milestones as roller boogie, New Age cults, the Marvel Universe and Ronald Reagan to the world, California has now rolled out a new trend that’s spreading like wildfire: Monster Marriage Counseling. Started by Dr. Hans Zupp, the counseling service now has … READ MORE
THE ALIEN SPECIES LIVING NEXT DOOR!
…sort of. What if I told you there’s an inter-dimensional co-species living in plain sight among us? Creatures thatwent unknown and unnoticed until the early 1800s. You know when you see something in the corner ofyour eye that darts away before you can catch a glimpse? Some attribute that to ghosts. Others say it’sShadow People. … READ MORE
TOILET TURNS INTO SPACE-TIME PORTAL WHEN FLUSHED
“AFTER ABOUT SIXTEEN FLUSHES AND THE TOILET SPITTING UP VIKINGS, I STARTED TO GET SUSPICIOUS,” SAYS OWNER. The hand is extended, trembling above the lever. Slowly it grips the wooden extension. A voice asks, “Are you ready?” This WEEKLY WORLD NEWS reporter nods. WWN knows that this lever, when pushed, will create a time/space vortex … READ MORE
Train Robbers Back Railroad Strikers, Refuse to Cross Picket Line!
Omaha – The nation’s largest union for train robbers announced that they would not cross the picket lines in support of railroad workers currently on strike against the nation’s largest freight carriers. “They say there is no honor among thieves, and that there are no lines we will not cross, but that is not true,” … READ MORE
ABOMINABLE BEACHMAN!
HAIRLESS HAWAIIAN GIANT TERRORIZES LOCAL FISHERMAN HONOLULU, HI — Weekly World News has tracked many bizarre creatures over the years, from Bat Boy to Bigfoot. But none has been quite so unusual as the lonely creature that roams these beautiful South Pacific beaches at night, ABOMINABLE BEACHMAN! “He’s a beachcomber you don’t want to meet,” … READ MORE
JESUS’S SANDALS FOUND IN UTAH!
Religious Groups Fight for Ownership MOAB, UTAH — The lost Sandals of Jesus, missing for over 2,000 years, have been found! An intrepid Vatican treasure hunter stunned every biblical when he found them in Utah! Hundreds of devout pilgrims are flocking to see the holy relics in Utah. Many Utah citizens have claimed that after … READ MORE