Omaha – The nation’s largest union for train robbers announced that they would not cross the picket lines in support of railroad workers currently on strike against the nation’s largest freight carriers.
“They say there is no honor among thieves, and that there are no lines we will not cross, but that is not true,” said United Steal Workers president Jedidiah McFarland, “We honor and do not cross picket lines!”
Members of the train robbers’ union raised their own pickets, as well as a little bit of hell, to show support for their rail worker brethren.
“We may come from different sides of the track, but we share a common cause,” said Idaho gang leader Marcus Sparks, “We just want to get rightfully or wrongly ours from the fat cats who are the real thieves, stealing the labor of the working class!”
SUPPORTING THE CAUSE
While the rail workers’ unions had no comment on their outlaw allies, several rank-and-file members were grateful for the support.
“We all work hard to earn what we got, whether it’s our paycheck or their outlaw reputation,” said Missouri yard mechanic Billy Doyle, “What have the bosses earned? They are picking our pockets while the robbers are picketing with us!”
United Steal Workers says that they have also advised their members in their Highway Robbery division to not handle any freight that came from scab labor. However, in an advisory to other members, the union said that collective bargaining agreements currently prevent wider-spread sympathy strikes.
“Be advised that piracy (nautical, air, and porch), retail shoplifting, burglary, identity theft, crypto scams, and other trades are to report to work as scheduled unless advised otherwise,” the union posted on its website.